It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like ARRRGH! by A.J. Axline
The following quiz is meant to determine your Christmas Tolerance Quotient (CTQ). An answer key has not been provided because, once you're done answering the questions, you should pretty much have a solid idea of what your CTQ is.
So, get your #2 pencils ready. Here we go!
1) At this time of year, your thoughts turn to:
a) spending time with family and friends
b) holiday gift shopping
c) upcoming Boxing Day sales at electronics outlets
d) how to buy presents for everyone and still have enough money left over to get a flatscreen monitor for yourself
2) Which of the following activities do you enjoy doing the most?
a) giving
b) receiving
c) defragging
d) installing
e) net gaming
3) Which of the following are NOT names of Santa's reindeer?
a) Dasher
b) Ballmer
c) Prancer
d) Mitnick
e) Comet
f) iPod
g) Donner
h) Plisken
4) Your favorite Christmas movie is:
a) It's a Wonderful Life
b) Scrooged
c) Die Hard
d) Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!
e) Monty Python's Life Of Brian
5) Scenario:
You are the network admin for a medium-sized corporation. Your network consists of 5 Windows 2000 servers, 100 Windows 2000 Professional clients, and 75 Windows 98 clients.
A user comes to you and complains that they are unable to change their desktop wallpaper from the standard corporate logo to a picture of a white fluffy kitten wearing a Santa hat. What action should you take?
a) apologize to the user, and change their profile so that they can make changes to their desktop wallpaper settings
b) inform the user that the network has an "anti-kitsch" filter installed on it; derive secret pleasure from the blank stare you receive in response
c) point behind the user and scream "HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS!!!"; when the user recoils and turns, push them to the floor and run away howling with laughter
d) begin trembling, and tell the user "Dingoes ate my Christmas kitten" in a tear-choked voice, then break into wracking sobs and fall to the floor, curling up into a fetal position at the user's feet
6) Complete this song lyric the way YOU think it should go:
"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost __________ :
a) nipping at your nose
b) ripping off your nose
c) tearing off his clothes
d) wearing lederhosen
e) deleting Windows
7) Corporate Christmas parties present a great opportunity to:
a) develop important relationships with your fellow co-workers
b) develop physical relationships with certain attractive co-workers
c) develop an inebriated conflict with your fellow inebriated co-workers
d) develop a criminal record for assaulting your boss with a turkey leg
e) steal research and development prototypes from the office
8) And finally...Elves are:
a) Santa's little helpers
b) imaginary woodland creatures
c) prancing, sucky, little tree huggers
d) the other white meat
A. J. Axline
Byte Back News