What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
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What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
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What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
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What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
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What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
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What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
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What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
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Where do you find a no-legged dog?
Right where you left him.
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Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
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Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
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What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.