How do crazy people go through the forest? - They take the psychopath.
How do you get holy water? - Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? - Polaroid's.
What do prisoners use to call each other? - Cell phones.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? - A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? - Nacho cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers? - Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call bullfighters in quicksand? - Quattro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow? - Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? - Frostbite.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? - A pool table.
What is a zebra? - 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? - A nervous wreck.
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? - The taste.
What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? - Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a no legged dog? - Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool? - From ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Johnson's in the phone book? - They all have phones