Two guys are found dead in bed covered with corn flakes
The cops thinks it may be a CEREAL KILLER.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
Marriages are made in heaven, but then so are thunder and lightning!
Where does a worm go in a corn field?
In one ear and out the other.
Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were talking by. The kitten complained, "Mama, I'm sooo hungry, what can we eat?" To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied, "How about some Baskin Robbins?"
One of the pups in a breeder's litter of collies had a strange appetite, fostered no doubt, because the dog fancier's kennel was deep in the southern United States. The odd youngster spurned regular dog food, no meaty tidbits could tempt him and he hated dog biscuits. Just in time to save the little dog's life, the owner found he would eat nothing but watermelons. He doted on them. His brother pups could not understand this and they teased him unmercifully. He became the butt of their pranks until his tail would droop and he would whimper and shiver in a corner. His mother, trying to comfort him, called him to her. She said,... "Come to me, my melon collie baby." HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! YIPEEEEEEEEE!!!!