Subject: Pillsbury Doughboy dies
Date: Sun, 7 Nov 2004 07:45:56 -0600
It is with saddest heart that I pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and John Kerry who stood up and said "I was in Vietnam for 3 1/2 months and I am a hero!!!" The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty Goldman, was considered a roll model for millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes