Sunday, November 9, 2003

Crazy, awesome, amazing, fun-filled, joyous, incredible, these are just a few of the words I could use to describe this past week.

As there is so much to talk about I am going to try to keep it to fewer than 2 pages. Let's start with Monday, nothing to special as far as I can remember. I did work on the bible study in Sarah's room and was able to get so much done, I really had a great time looking at 2 Timothy and making up questions. I was also able to brainstorm a lot of ideas for our small group to help us grow closer.

Wednesday was another good day. Here is an excerpt from a prayer that I wrote in my journal about it.

The other thing on my mind has been there for awhile and it just keeps popping up. I thought for a second or so that I had my relationship with Sarah figured out. At least my plan was to just let things go and see what happens. Lord, you know this would not be right. Thank you for sending Hunter to visit me. He knew nothing about this struggle but you prompted him to ask about girls. Lord, thank you for opening me up and allowing me to express some of my uncertainty. I ask that you will allow me to use Hunter's advice and talk to Sarah about this. It may seem like a huge thing and in a way it is but I don't know what else to do. If she feels the same way I do, we can move our relationship to another level. The worst that can happen is that she says that she doesn't have feelings for me in that way and we could still be friends. Even this rejection, no matter how hard, would be better than the uncertainty that fills me now. Lord, I pray for an opportunity for us to talk and that we will think of your will and plan for us.

I was going to talk to Sarah after quiet time but never worked up the courage. We ended up walking back to RWJ at the same time in an awkward silence. Then upon returning to my room, one of the most amazing things ever happened. I came back to my room and Scott was talking to Erich and they got me involved in their discussion. Then Scott decided that he wanted more opinions so he called Sarah and Sarah B. to come join us. After a few more minutes, Dave came over looking for his roommate Erich and joined in the discussion. I don't clearly remember the topics discussed but here is my prayer the next evening during my quiet time that really reflects my feeling about the night.

Thank you for last night. We had an incredible opportunity to talk about you. It is so amazing how you brought the six of us together to seek you and really share some of our feelings. Lord, I am glad for the trust that you have established and the strength that you provided each of us to say what we did. One of the most important things that cam out of this discussion were some prayer requests. It is so great to pray for your friends and to know that they are praying for you.

I could go on for hours talking about our Thursday prayer meeting and Oasis but the main event of the night was once again our 311 Small Group (as I will refer to the spontaneous group that just formed last night). This time we decided to also invite Brandon and Adam into the discussion, because they are our friends and they have been doing their quiet times with us. We started meeting at about midnight or a little later and it ended up being almost 4 am when I went to bed. This was a really great time but I did sleep through my first class ever which was unfortunate. Again, one of the coolest things was to share prayer requests and these requests were posted on the message board so that we can all remember them and continue to pray for them.

Saturday was Fall Training Day. This was a great opportunity for students in Milwaukee to learn about sharing the gospel, leading a GIG and sharing their testimony. Here is my journal entry about Fall training day.

The training day on Saturday was a really good learning time. Even though I had heard much of the information presented before, a refresher was needed in some of the techniques. One of the coolest experiences was giving our testimonies. I was partnered with Sarah and it was so neat to hear about her past and how Christ has been active in her life. It was also cool to share my testimony. I think that it was the first time that I have admitted that I really was not a Christian until coming to college.

Sunday was the most eventful day of my week and although I could talk all about church and work but instead I am going to share about my incredible conversation with Sarah. Once again I will share from my journal as it expresses my thoughts better than I possibly could right now.

Sunday ended up being one of the longest days ever. Sunday school and church were really good and I got a lot out of them. But the whole time I was also very distracted thinking about when and how I would talk to Sarah. Then, I spent most of the afternoon trying to do homework and keep my mind somewhat off my worries. Later in the afternoon, Sarah B. stopped by to talk for a bit. The only thing that she could tell me was that I should talk to Sarah and that I should do it soon. I promised her that I would do it that night after work. My four-hour shift seemed to drag on forever. I couldn't stop thinking about Sarah and what I was going to say and how she was going to respond. I had a lot of fear and excitement. As the night went on, the fear subsided and the excitement built.

Then I left work and headed back to the dorms. The whole way back I prayed. I got to my room, put my stuff away and said a final prayer. Then I walked up to fifth floor for what would be a defining moment of my life. I talked to her in her room for a few minutes and then asked her if she would like to come down to my room to talk. She accepted and must have known that something was up. Then I told her how I felt about our relationship and asked her if she felt the same way. Just as she was about to answer, Aaron Ross stopped by. I helped his with differential equations for a few minutes. I don't know how well this worked. Maybe this time was needed for Sarah to think things over. Then after he left, she said that she wanted something more from our relationship as well. We both shared that this was completely new to us. We talked for awhile about how we met and how much we have each grown in the past 10 weeks. Then Scott returned and after some small talk with him, I walked Sarah back to her room and talked a little more.

Looking back now, I see that God has really been at work in our relationship since day one when we met as I was helping move students in as part of InterVarsity's New Student Outreach. This new chapter in my life is so exciting yet also a bit scary. I just pray that God will always remain at the center of our relationship.